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Week 30 - The Game Changer

Week 30

So big news in Paddington's baby journey...we have a crawler!!!!! Now the fun really begins, right?! This week Paddington seems to have gone from being a fairly containable baby who really wants to be on the move, to a suddenly completely mobile and able little guy who is moving around like he has been doing it all his life!  He is confident, inquisitive, fast, adapting super quickly to his new found freedom and movement and thoroughly pleased with himself for opening up his world to a whole host of new adventures and areas to explore.

He is really enjoying crawling on different textures as he has mainly spent his play time on a variety of soft mats and blankets so far, now he is a mobile baby, I have put the foam squares out on the floor which he loves the feel of, and he has ventured on to the hard wood floors and the carpet and the rug, all of which are a sensory delight.

He is so happy to be able to get around now and can cover some good ground, so its eyes in the back of our heads time!  No more sedentary, immobile baby, we have entered the world of mobility, and boy is it fun!

This week was a week of milestone that have changed our lives, and Padster's too, for the better!

1. The Game Changer.

Our little man has been putting in the legwork, so to speak, over the past couple of weeks, desperate to get moving, and I have admired his tenacity and perseverance, thinking it would take at least another month or so until I needed to worry too much about baby proofing etc... well, my boy only went and started crawling on Friday didn't he, like the absolute trooper and legend he is. His hard work trying and experimenting with movement has paid off and he is a confident little crawler too.  My pal Laura knew he would be crawling soon when we visited her a couple of weeks ago and she saw Pads doing his press-up yoga pose.  She said 'now, he can do that, he'll be crawling within a couple of weeks I bet', and she was spot on!

He first crawled on the bed in the morning when we were having some lazy play, then he didn't bother again in the day so I thought it was a fluke. That evening, on his play area he just rolled on to his front and rather nonchalantly started crawling forward towards me with super cute splayed fingers and very precise placing of his hands and knees. I was so excited I gave him a huge round of applause and lots of praise, and he gave me such a happy and satisfied grin as if to say, 'look, mum! I did it! Crawling rocks!'.

I wanted to see if he could do it again, and of course try and capture it on camera for his dad, so I scooped him up and put him back where he started, on his front, then I sat in front of him at the other end of the play area and put his beloved Sophie la giraffe in front of me. With lots of encouraging 'come on good boy!' and 'you can do it' style cheering on from me, he just began crawling quickly forward again, like it is something he had always been able to do.  I had it on film and he was just as happy as before to have mastered this new, exciting skill. Suddenly, Pads whole world has just opened up and is full of possibility and ripe for the exploring!

I have now had to begin baby proofing pretty sharpish, starting with putting his foam squares down on the floor surrounding his padded blanket area as the lovely cushion border I had been using to contain him, just won't cut it now he can crawl past or over them!  (He has also figured out how to basically army commando roll over cushions and obstacles so nowhere is safe from him!). This really is a game changer, as now he knows he can crawl, that is all he wants to do and each time he wants to go further and explore new surfaces and parts of the room he hasn't been before.

It is pretty cute to see the joy and wonder on his face as he crawls around and surprises himself with how far he can go, and he looks up at me for encouragement and reassurance still, which is so rewarding.  It takes quite a bit of effort to crawl so we are still getting a lot of effort farts and it tires him out too, so often he will just stop with his head on the floor for a little rest mid crawl or start rubbing his eyes or getting frustrated and grizzling.

Watch out world, Paddington the destroyer is on the move and he is coming for your toys/mobile phones and remotes mainly! (I think its time to set up his travel cot play pen methinks!)

2. Bassinet be gone.

This has been a real week of milestones, and proof that my once little baby boy, is growing up FAST! Pads has now upgraded his carry cot pram to a sportier parent facing seat model, in keeping with his new, grown up crawling baby status. I was quite sad to dismantle the bassinet as its been a big part of Pads little life so far, and means that he just isn't a small baby anymore.

Luckily, our buggy comes with a parent facing seat option which is what we have gone for whilst he still wants to see me when we are out for a walk, and luckily, he still falls asleep easily in it, which was a concern of switching from the cosy bassinet! We have had quite a few lovely walks in the new pram set-up already this week, including a gorgeous sunny meander along the river Wye that then turned into a wet and miserable trot back to the car through puddles and mud (for me anyway, Pads had no idea of the sudden weather change as he was fast asleep under his rain cover, which he is totally fine with in the new seat position thankfully!). He loves the new more upright position as he can see out and look around more easily, but he can also still see me and when he is ready to see more of the world, and fed up with my face, we can upgrade again to the front facing seat.

3. Chatter box

Pads has really found his voice as well this week, and is communicating and experimenting with a wealth of new sounds. 'Ra ra ra ra' and 'ya ya ya' are his favs, and it almost sounds at times like he is taking the mick out of how I speak and very nearly saying 'bla bla bla'! He has long conversations with himself, and us, with these new half words and gets quite expressive and shouts when he wants attention or wants anything really! He definitely knows what he wants and how to get it!

He is also fond of a 'ga ga ga' rant or sometimes it really sounds like he saying 'hello' or 'yeah', and I say it back to him for him to repeat and it sounds like he is repeating it, but am sure its just a fluke of similar sounds at this stage. Basically he always wants to have a chat or babble away or practice making new and more sophisticated sounds at the moment and it is adorable. I love to hear him nattering away to himself in the morning or in the back of the car, if this is anything to go by I think he'll be a chatty little chappy!

He also does this hilarious wide mouthed face when he is really chattering away, that reminds me of a Creature Comforts animal, not quite sure where he has picked that up from but it is very cute!

4. Gone with the Wind.

Solid food is definitely causing some impressive wind from my boy. How such a peachy little bum can produce such loud and long pumps I don't know, but boy do we know about it now his diet has changed. Stinky bum should be his new nickname and the nappy contents are quite potent these days, often with little specks of evidence in them, such as a bit of broccoli or spinach. Gone is the canary yellow poo of yore that we worked so hard to get, and in its place is a darker, thicker, smellier beast. All part of growing up I guess.

He is also definitely finding it harder to pass solid foods and often sits in his high chair making little straining sounds and pulling really concerned and urgent straining faces, bless him. It can't be easy going from breast milk to a pile of veggies and fruit and then full blown meals. I am trying to make sure I keep giving him plenty of wind removal massages after each nappy change and before bed to help the little guy out, as quite often he will wake in the night due to wind I think and let out an almighty parp or belch which gives him great relief.

5. The fish hook.

Breast feeding time is now basically just explorative hand play time for Pads and he is freakishly strong. He has been doing the 'oral hygienist' as my Daisies baby class teacher brilliantly called it for some time now, where he shoves his whole hand in my mouth and feels and pulls at my teeth and gums. But he has stepped it up a gear and started doing something another friend suggested we call the 'fish hook'. It is as it sounds, he hooks either a few fingers or his whole hand just below my lower lip and yanks as hard as he can. And it bloody hurts! He is so strong that he can drag my head just with a couple of fingers. That coupled with the boob scratching and pinching which comes as standard makes feeding a bit of a battleground at times.

He also chomped down a few times with his gums on my nip and his teeth look like they are about to cut through finally, so help me when they do! A friend of mine suggested the best way to deal with biting and chomping to nip it in the bud, was to try and have the mind to push my boob further into his mouth when he does this, rather than pull away as is the natural instinct ,so that he is forced to release, to try and teach him that that is not a cool move. My boy is so strong and so inquisitive and so wilful and so into everything that it does become a challenge at times and when he hurts, he really hurts! This baby is a strong one.

6. Weaning adventures continued.

We really stepped up our food explorations this week as Pads is just so interested in food and wants to try everything he sees, which is fab. He has been brilliant with all the vegetable and fruit purees and finger foods I have given him so far, so this week, now he is used to the idea of eating and holding his spoon etc... we went baby led and started cooking from scratch properly again so we could make salt and sugar free meals that our son can share.

Here's what Pads had on this week's gourmet menu:

Chicken thigh meat cooked in a little paprika and thyme - he liked sucking this.  His first taste of meat and we went baby led giving him a good strip to hold and investigate.  He also had a green bean with it and half a potato which was excellent for smushing in his fist.

Mushroom - this was a total surprise hit.  It was a warm, cooked sliced mushroom and I think he mainly used it for teething on, squeaking it against his gums, but seemed to also get really excited by the umami taste, kicking his legs excitedly and he wouldn't let the piece of mushroom go.

Pan fried tenderstem broccoli - clearly a discerning foodie. This was easy for him to hold and keep popping in and out of his mouth so he was happy to play and chew on this for ages whilst we ate our dinner and he ate most of the floret too.

Steamed asparagus spear - another winner because it was fun and easy to hold, though it was a little stringy when he did manage to tear a piece off so he spat those bits out.

Banana pancake sliver with pear purée and a halved strawberry for Pancake Day - he loved this, after an initial surprise at the texture of the pancake, and his first taste of anything with egg in it, he sucked away on it merrily and really loved the sweetness and juiciness of the strawberry and his favourite, the pear.

Homemade hummus - total winner and I had forgotten how easy and yummy it is to make your own. He has had this on toast, bread, cucumber sticks, my finger, a spoon..he is a hummus kind of guy.

Chilli con carne - I puréed some of this to give him and also kept some big chunks of beef and a slightly mashed kidney bean back, so he could do a combo of baby led and spoon fed on this one to get the maximum experience. He enjoyed sucking the beef and the sauce was clearly a taste explosion that my little man relished - that's cumin, coriander and chilli flakes in there and he went for it so enthusiastically he had a Joker style red sauce smile all over his lower face. So proud!

Porridge with half cows milk half water - He made a face like Gollum for this one.  Not sure about the texture of sticky oats I guess. I tried it with some of his beloved pear purée mixed in it and that went down better but still not a fav.  He was also a little sick afterwards, so I think that may be the cow's milk.  I also tried natural yoghurt with some stewed plums and again he was sick after this, but the next day I gave him Ready Brek made with water on its own, and then with some stewed plums and he was fine and lapped it up like it was breastmilk, so I am going to give cow's milk and cow's milk yoghurt a miss for now.

Porridge fingers - These look like skinny flapjacks and he really seems to like holding them and sucking out little bits of oats.  They are jut made with porridge oats and water (I didn't use milk, see above) cooked on high heat in the microwave and then sliced while warm and left to cool and harden, so not particularly tasty I don't think, but great finger food and they have really helped him get to grips with his grip.

Spinach and cheese muffins - I also whipped up a batch of really yummy muffins (get me!), using a mature cheddar and fresh spinach leaves.  I made big ones for me and Jon and mini ones for Pads, and they have been a huge hit.  I wasn't sure they would go down that well with him as are trickier to hold than a stem or a porridge finger, but he can handle the odd round shape, and mush it up in his hands and nibble small pieces of the eggy muffiny mix off.  He has definitely been ingesting the spinach - his nappies have been proof of that, and when I opened the box I had stored them in to get myself one for a snack, he saw it and started reaching out with both hands and making a grizzly 'give me one mum!' sound so he definitely likes them.

I am really enjoying setting Pads off on his culinary journey and discovering what foods he likes and watching him really quickly develop new feeding and eating skills.  He seems to get real enjoyment from food, from the taste to the whole experience of sitting and eating and taking his time over exploring what I put in front of him, and so far, he has tried everything and mostly, liked everything too.  It has given me a revived interest in cooking again too and reignited my passion for food, and it is forcing me to make healthier choices for us as a family as Pads is pretty much just eating what we eat now.

7. The return (sort of) of our evenings.

This week, we reclaimed some of our evenings back after a long time of me just going to bed when Paddington did to just basically survive! We had our first proper evening in a very long time, after putting Pads down after a play, a bath, a feed and a cuddle at around 8.45pm. He woke up twice (once due to wind and then because he had managed to get himself diagonal to the bottom of the cot with his head on the corner and yup, bopped his bonce on the bars again). Jon and I managed to watch Alaska: the last frontier (a guilty pleasure of ours), and snuggle up on the couch like we used to do with a cheeky glass of wine and a chocolate or 10. It was really lovely to have some down time as a couple and just unwind together for a change.

The next 2 evenings weren't quite as successful, with Pads taking longer to settle off to sleep. I went up to put him to bed at 7.30pm and didn't come back down until 9.30pm (man was I hungry for dinner that night!), and the next night I came downstairs at around 8.30pm after settling Pads off, then had to go up and down the stairs another 3 times as he kept waking, and spend a good 15 minutes getting him settled again each time, that I just got too tired myself and toddled off to bed around 9.45pm (which felt REALLY late!), leaving Jon to watch action movies by himself, which he was more than happy to do!

8. The 2nd game changer of the week.

This is huge for us - we are now a 2 car family.  And this could not have happened at a better time as our old routine of me having to take Jon to the station every morning for work at 6.45am and pick him up every evening between 6.30-7pm was not only getting really boring and annoying, it was also starting to affect Paddington's 'routine'.  If he was asleep in the morning when we had to leave, we had to either wake him to bring him in the car with us, or if my mum was around and not working the next day, wake her up and ask her to watch over him for 15 minutes. Not ideal for anyone. And bundling a sleepy/cranky/just woken up baby into a car at stupid o clock in the morning in the cold and the dark, when everyone is tired and a bit cranky, is not fun.

Likewise, in the evenings Jon's train would always get in just when Paddington was ready to go to bed, so I'd have to ignore his cues and bundle him back in the car which of course, just made him even more tired and start to nod off, only to be woken up again when we got back home, and send him to over tired grizzly town. Well, those days are now over as we are the proud owners of a 13 year old Renault Scenic which we have lovingly, and rather fittingly, named Sophie la scenic, after Padster's beloved teething toy. Welcome to the family Sophie, you are about to make our lives so much easier.

Week 29 - or the week we were late for EVERYTHING!

Week 29

Or the week my brain turned to actual mush. 

1. Sleeping bags. 

Our little kicker has been kicking his covers off for some time at night now and I have been dutifully replacing them again and again throughout the night, as he had outgrown his newborn sleeping bag. We just upgraded to 2 new super duper cosy sleeping bags for 6 months plus and I wish I had done it sooner, as problem solved instantly, plus it still gives him the movement to kick, move freely and roll around. Jon calls it his 'little night dress' but I think he looks very cute in it and they are such a good idea for kickers like mine. I can now cross 'being too cold' off the list of possible reasons for night wakings.

2. Sleep sliding. 

We have had very disrupted sleep this week after being away at the weekend and frankly, it sucks. The first night back was awful. He just wouldn't settle then awoke in his cot and kept rolling onto his front and doing press ups to look over the bars, then getting upset. I would turn him onto his back again and try and soothe him then step back and he would then clamber on to the side of the Sleepyhead and roll off into the gap between the sleepyhead and the cot bars and get stuck and start crying. This went on for a while and was quite exhausting. 

The following evening was just as bitty and crap, with him crying every hour or so for the first half of the night after waking in his cot seemingly restless and agitated, often due to moving around in it and either bashing his head or ending up in a weird diagonal position with his feet in the bottom corner and his face down. 

The next day I made sure we got a lot of fresh air in the hope this would help sleep later, and I started his bed time routine earlier so that we were in bed by 7pm, but it was the worst night we have had in ages with less than 2 hours sleep at a time, and he was up from 2-5am refusing to settle at all and being really really cranky, crying wildly and I couldn't comfort him as usual with some hugs and kisses and gentle rocking and sshing. He point blank would not stay in his cot without a screaming fit and got really worked up, and then continued screaming after I had lifted him out for cuddles, which is when he has always stopped before. Jon was away as well so it was all down to me to get him to sleep (not that it isn't when Jon is here as he has to get sleep for work and cottage renovations so is often in the other room anyway, or able to sleep through it, but it's always nice to know I have back up there if needed). 

I nearly broke down at one point as I was so tired and couldn't see a way through the night. I just kept saying 'please sleep, I need you to sleep. You need to sleep!' in a desperate whisper. Eventually just after 5am and another bloody night feed, he dropped off until 7am and I didn't bother moving him back to the cot so we could both get some sleep. It was an awful, exhausting night and the next day I felt like a total zombie. Sleep has got worse again, and we were doing so well just last week! 

After Pads climbing and rolling off the Sleepyhead shenanigans, I realised it was now time to sadly lose the Sleepyhead in the cot, as he just wants to clamber over it when he wakes and then gets himself into awkward positions between it and the cot bars, which can't be very safe. The Sleepyhead has been an absolute lifesaver, it's the only reason we started getting any sleep in the beginning and enabled us to safely co-sleep when Pads was very small and then enabled an easy transition into his cot, and it will still come in handy when we travel and for daytime naps, but he is so long that he is hanging off the end of it now anyway and is probably getting too big overall for it. It's the end of a sleepy era. Thank you for the sleep dear Sleepyhead, I am forever grateful (and to my dad for buying it for us!).  

It's time for Pads to sleep like a big boy just in his cot. we do have a reflux pillow in there to slightly raise his head up, which has been helping reduce nighttime vomiting. It goes under the cot sheet against the mattress so there is still a smooth surface underneath him. It's only downside is, it's something else for him to roll off towards those dastardly cot bars but I think that would happen even if the surface was completely flat and he doesn't sleep as well lying totally flat anyway. 

Also, Ewan the (t!$tting) dream sheep ran out of batteries! Already! He has only done 2 weeks work and is already too tired to continue! You try 6.5 months of this Ewan without being able to recharge your batteries! We used him a handful of times only when Pads was a newborn and have only just started using him again this past fortnight so how can he be out of batteries already? I am blaming that sheep for our first crappy night's sleep this week that sent us into a spiral of shit sleep, as when I first put him on to settle Pads it was working but then the sheep cut out and stopped. Consequentially Pads and I were up for 3 hours in the early morning trying to get him to go back to sleep and we tried everything, including a horrible minute of crying it out which was just distressing for us both. As a result we missed our Daisies Wrigglers class as we were so exhausted and Pads decided to finally get some deep unbroken sleep at 8am so I did not want to wake him up for a baby class.  Not cool Ewan. I totally blame you.

The other nights of rubbish sleep? I blame Ewan a bit as well, he has had his batteries replaced since and has been ineffective again, not pulling his weight at all. I also blame the weekend where I disrupted his pattern and I blame myself for still not being able to get my son to sleep, and I blame solid foods for making him really windy and giving him tummy pains with all the new digesting going on. He may be a little constipated too I fear as he keeps makes straining noises, especially at night, and goes a bit red in the face, and if I touch his tum or bum during these strains, I can feel them harden and tighten as if he is struggling plus he is doing a lot of stinky farts. (To anyone who said 'oh he will sleep better when he is on solids' - why don't you take him for a night?! That theory is rubbish!)

I blame his crazy development making him want to roll over and try and crawl all the bloody time when he should be sleeping and causes him to move manically in the cot and then of course, lose balance and bop his head on the bars, which is still a big factor for him waking so much. So I also blame the cot for being too big and too hard and very non-baby friendly frankly. And I blame the fact he has outgrown the Sleepyhead, which has always given him comfort and support at night so he is having to get used to sleeping in a big wide cot as well as digest new foods and want to be on the move all the time. All of this equals shitty sleep. 

Feels like we took a huge leap forward the past two weeks with our sleep and now we have taken a massive slide back. Averaging less than 2 hours sleep in a block again and over 6 wakings a night, a mixture of wind related and general restless and bopping his head, and he is taking hours to settle back to sleep. It makes me want to cry, and go and book myself into a hotel for the weekend to run away to just to get some/any sleep.  Am struggling not to believe the mum mantra of 'this too will pass' on this anymore. We need sleep! 

3. Is he left handed? 

We are starting to believe so. I know it isn't determined until they are 2 years old or something, but he more often than not grabs the spoon with his left hand first and tries to feed himself with the left hand predominately. He likes to make a fist with the right hand and not use it as much when playing and exploring his movement so watch this space. Possible leftie I reckon.

He is definitely double jointed (are all babies double jointed?!). His big toe folds almost all the way back on itself on both feet and he can twist his knee back and up much further than I have seen anyone do before! He could be a ballerina or gymnast if he keeps up this level of flexibility. I am rather jealous to be honest. 

4. Multi vits - necessary or not? 

So now Pads is over 6 months old and still breastfed, our HV recommended we use vitamin drops to make sure Pads gets all the extra nutrients he needs to grow up and big and strong. At first I didn't question this as I just want to do what is best for my baby of course and she is the health professional and just following the food standards agency recommendations. 

So, I went and bought some well baby infant liquid by vitabiotics, for babies 4 months plus, which sounded like the perfect blend of multivits and prides itself on having more vitamins in it than any other brand bla bla bla. It said to mix it in with his milk, water or food so I stirred the recommended dose into his purée and tried a bit. All I could taste was the sugary herbal tasting orange syrup. Yuck! I then read the packet and it contains a lot of sugar. Is this right? Aren't we told not to give babies sugar and then told to give them sugary vitamin drops?! Confused! I know that baby medicine is full of sugar to get them to take it, but you only give them medicine every once in a while, these drops are supposed to be administered daily. I have since discovered there are drops available that say they don't contain sugar or sweetener so I should have looked out for those. 

I gingerly offered him some up as I had already stirred it into his food and he ate it and seemed to really like it actually but it just masked the taste of the yummy veggies I had lovingly prepared for him, and then I got to thinking, 'wait a minute, I don't want to give him sugar or get him used to the taste of this stuff over the taste of food and as breast milk is so nutritious containing great levels of vitamin a especially, and I will be making sure he eats a balanced and varied diet with all the food groups covered to get the rest of the vitamins he requires, does he really actually need food supplements anyway?!' My gut just said no, and with that, I threw the sugary vitamin riddled food away and gave him a fresh bowl of just veggies instead and made sure we had a lovely long walk in the sun afterwards (the best way to get a dose of vitamin d and it's free! Admittedly the sun has been a rarity lately though).

I was feeling a bit cautious about this 'you must give them vitamins' mantra, especially as formula fed babies aren't told to take vitamin drops until much older (because formula contains added vitamins and minerals already I know, but breast milk contains even more good stuffs so isn't that enough?!). It's a confusing message, and surely babies can get iron from meat and leafy green veg and vitamin c from oranges etc...shouldn't the message really be to get parents to give their babies a balanced nutritious diet with lots of fruit, veg, meat and cereals, pulses etc.. to ensure they get all the vitamins they need the way nature intended rather than recommending every baby gets supplements regardless of circumstance or health? 

I saw my HV again this week so asked her to clarify what vitamins Pads really needs as a full term, healthy and breast fed baby that he won't be able to get from a good, well balanced diet and she said it is vitamin d that is the important one as we don't get enough sun to be able to have enough sun exposure and of course there are risks involved with keeping a baby out in the sun uncovered too, which is the best way to top up your vit d supplies, so the vitamin d drops help boost this. Fair enough. I accept that. So I will be getting some sugar and sweetener free vitamin d drops now and putting the multi vit supplement to one side (or perhaps even the bin as it has to be used within 3 months of opening!) for now and see if we can't get Pads all his other nutrients through my milk and some nutritious home cooked food.

Has anyone else questioned the need for vitamin drops or decided not to use them? I am not saying that I won't give him multi vits if he needs a boost of iron or vit c or whatever, as I want my baby to be as healthy as possible, I am just not convinced that they are absolutely necessary for every baby (I know some babies and mums are deficient in certain vitamins and not all babies will be given a good, healthy balanced diet so is this just a blanket recommendation to cover all bases when in fact full term, healthy babies who do eat well actually probably don't need supplementing their diet (other than vitamin d)?). I have definitely learnt to read the labels better on anything I give Pads and to keep asking questions! 

5. Weaning highlights.

This week we are combining flavours and being more adventurous with new tastes and baby led feeding. The food journey has taken a step up a gear! 

We have had butternut squash and swede - a tasty success that saw him eat the whole bowl; strawberry -  he delighted in squishing these between his fingers and enjoyed sucking the sweet juices from the strawberry piece I gave him to hold; unsweetened natural yoghurt - provoked the best facial reactions yet and made him do a little leg dance before diving in for some more so I am guessing the sour flavour excited him (similar to breast milk I wonder?!); cucumber batons - he really wasn't sure about these but they were pretty cold straight from the fridge and hard to get much out of without any teeth; raspberry - not an instant hit and made him choke a bit which was quite scary so perhaps he isn't quite ready for something so tart and seedy; and a carrot and cauliflower puree blend - lapped up half a bowl quite happily.

He is so interested in all the food on my plate at meal times too so we will be stepping up the weaning even further next week and perhaps introducing some meat and grains.  Exciting foodie times for Pads, and I love that I get to share in his new culinary discoveries and excitement for feeds. 

6. Reporting back on air wrap cot bumpers. 

So after some consideration, research and advice from friends and fellow mums, thanks to all who commented, we went with the air mesh wraps to put around the cot bars as I just can't use a traditional cot bumper just incase - Not worth the risk or worry - but wanted a solution to him constantly bumping his head, which is a major contributing factor to our crappy sleep this week. The air wraps are definitely breathable which is a must, and they attach with really strong Velcro so I don't think he will be able to rip them off, but as for doing the job of being a bumper - they come up short. As they are so thin in order to be breathable and safe, he is still bopping his head on the side bars as they really provide very little in the way of padding or protection. So, we have the same problem basically but I am now £26 worse off, so thinking these may be going back. I just hope that he learns to stop bashing his head at some point as we could do without another bloody reason for broken sleep and frequent night wakings. 

7. Groundhog Day. 

The actual Groundhog Day was not our best day this week, in fact this week has been a week of being late for everything and forgetting stuff. 

We missed our Tuesday morning baby class after a terrible night's sleep and Pads then deciding to sleep at the time we needed to be getting up. Then another swimming disaster followed that day because he was so tired and cranky. 

He cried all the way to the pool, missing out on his usual nap, he cried getting changed and although he did the whole swim session this time and enjoyed some of it, he cried again after one of the underwater swims and before another one so we had to give that a miss, and when he was in the swim position a few times he was not loving it. The teacher was giving her definitive answer on whether we could go to the planned underwater photo shoot this weekend and last week we were all 95% yes, this week she delivered a huge blow to me and Pads after his grizzly behaviour in class and I felt like a big fat parenting failure. She recommended that we didn't do the shoot (all the other babies in our class were given the OK, including one that is grizzly at the start of every session) and postpone it until the end of his next swimming chapter which will be in May when he should be more confident and older and hopefully easier to time everything right before his swim. I was surprised at how gutted I felt to be told we couldn't go, even though we can't afford to buy the extortionately priced photos at the moment anyway and even though I agreed with her. 

It felt like I had failed Pads by not getting all of his sleep, naps and feeds accurately timed so he would always be able to enjoy swimming. Silly I know as I can't control how he feels and why he wakes/doesn't nap, how much he eats before class etc...and this week we had fed exactly an hour before class which is usually when he is then at his best. I really have no idea what I am doing is what Pads has reminded me this week and we have been winging it rather well, but this week it feels like the wings have fallen off and I'm being exposed as the clueless, fumbling parent that I really am. 

I realise it sounds like I am being pretty negative this week, which is not my style, and like it all went a bit 'toop', but not entirely no. 

On Wednesday we again completely missed our baby class as I had written the wrong time in my phone. When I realised we had turned up to class just as it was ending, and I was walking away feeling embarrassed and silly, I had a choice: Let that define and ruin our day and get upset about it which was my first instinct, or, get over it and make the most of the day regardless. 

It was a gorgeous sunny Winter's day (rare around these parts at the moment) and we had travelled further afield, to a gorgeous village called Newland especially for the class so were in a new place and also near an old place I knew very well (Monmouth). I chose to get over it thankfully and took us on a little drive around the new area first, after a feed in the car of course, and it was absolutely gorgeous countryside and just what I needed to take my mind off the shitty bitty week so far. Pads had a little nap too so it was win win. 

I then decided we would make the day an adventure and the day we did lots of fun stuff rather than the day I cocked up again. So, we went up to the Kymin, a stunning high look out point where you can see all across Monmouth and beyond where I used to go a lot as a youngster, and took a nice walk in the woods there and around the pleasure grounds of the site. Then, we went to Monmouth Castle as part of our ongoing extended Welsh Castles Challenge, and I don't think I ever really went there before despite living in the town for several years. Then we did a big walk around Monmouth itself taking in the old bridge and the cobbled streets, before stopping for a well earned slice of cake and tea with soy milk (me) and a good breastfeed and nap (for Pads). We were in the cafe for 2 hours just chilling and watching ski and snowboard videos that were playing on a loop and it was lovely. So we ended up having a really brilliant day making the most of the sunshine and getting lots of fresh air, and not letting a blunder get us down. That was how we turned a potentially bad day, right back around.

8. My brain has actually turned to mush.

I have found myself making a lot of silly mistakes this week, like getting the time of the baby class wrong, taking the wrong turning in the car and knowing it was wrong but not reacting in time, putting my leftover dinner in the microwave overnight instead of in the fridge which was what I meant to do, writing down the wrong postcode for a location despite being told the right one twice (I am not dyslexic but I had basically gotten all the letters and numbers in the wrong order), and leaving Pads on the changing table for 5 seconds to wash my hands in which time he had managed to flip into his front and whack his cheek on the hard wooden bar on the edge of the table giving him a shock and his first little bruise (I am so sorry little man! I know better than to ever leave you unattended so I don't know what I was thinking - I wasn't and I guess that is the point here). 

I feel like I am really scatty, forgetful, disorganised and not exactly functioning properly and I really think that is down to the sleep deprivation.  Its been over 6 months now of functioning on little to no sleep 24/7 and it has started to take its toll. I must get more rest in the days and not always pack so much in (its my worst habit I fear, trying to do everything all at once), to give myself a chance to refuel and reboot in place of an actual decent night's sleep which is clearly never going to happen ever again (I know it will, one day, it just feels unbelievable at the moment!), and also Paddington probably needs a few more calm days at home, where we aren't rushing around to get to class or an appointment or to meet someone, so he can get more peace and rest too.

9. Show and tell. 

We went along to Ystrad Mynach Hospital at the end of this week to demonstrate and talk about our experiences with biological/laid back feeding as part of a health professionals training day to bring local health visitors up to date with breastfeeding positioning alternatives and the benefits of this particular position above others (increased bonding with easier eye to eye contact, perfect for skin to skin contact feeding, relaxed and natural for baby to be so tight and close to the mother, easier to do once you get the hang of it as less to remember than with cradle and gravity works with mum and the baby for optimum milk flow, better for the baby to digest the milk as it flows down so good for babies with reflux and strengthens babies head and neck muscles as the head is left free from any hold so the baby controls when they come off better too), in the hope that they can encourage mums to keep on boobing for longer!  

We had been asked to get involved by the lovely lady who ran our breastfeeding peer support group and you know how passionate I am about boobies and the biological position so of course I said yes. 

We arrived late, of course (that is the theme of this week it would seem!), after I took a wrong turn at the start of our car journey and knew I was about to take a wrong turn and yet still did it anyway! Really annoying. Anyway, we arrived only 5 minutes late in the end which I am classing as a success, and located the education centre in what is actually a really lovely, modern hospital. Have never been there before but was impressed. 

We walked into the lecture theatre where the training was taking place to find 15 lady health visitors semi-circled around 2 seats, one that was occupied by the course leader and one that was obviously intended for me and Pads. I suddenly felt quite daunted as I was basically on stage and about to 'perform' with my baby in front of actual medically trained professionals, including my very own HV who hadn't hugely helped me with my breastfeeding concerns in the early days to be honest, and I know this is largely to do with the fact that they are soooo busy and have so much to cover in a short time so I have no hard feelings about it, it just goes to show that the matter of breastfeeding is quite a specialist field that requires a lot of time and support to get right, and the role of the HV is a much more general and busier role. 

"Oh well, here goes I thought, let's do this together Pads!". It was actually lovely to be able to sit up there and tell my story about how I began, struggled with, reached out for help with and now love breastfeeding. The emphasis was of course on discovering the biological/laid back feeding position and how I got on with it at first (not well) but learned to not overthink it until it has become our natural, default position. Less than a minute into me talking, Pads (who had already melted the crowd with his extreme cuteness - good work buddy!), decided he would like to demo the position immediately. 

So there I was with a slightly red flushed face, which I always get when public speaking (and because the room was sooo hot and stuffy! Why are hospitals always so stuffy?!) , a dry mouth, because I had foolishly forgotten/not had time to pack any water for the car journey, getting my boob out in front of 16 intensely concentrating faces. Standard. Pads latched on well and although our positioning wasn't exactly textbook (as I just wanted to get Pads on quickly so I could continue talking and felt quite under pressure with everyone looking intently at me, I didn't sit that upright or check that he was low enough down but I reckon I was doing well enough just being there in the first place) it was still a good representation of biological/laid back feeding and definitely a real mum's interpretation of the position which is important for the health visitors to see. 

I told my story rather quickly as I suddenly got a bit nervous and flustered as Pads was fussing a bit on the boob being hot as well in that stuffy room and probably picking up on some of my anxieties, then it was question time, where I moved Pads over to the other boob to try and stop his fussing, which worked for a little bit. I relaxed a bit more now the pressure was off me to just speak and answered all the questions directed me. It was great to hear the ladies so interested in the position and I was quite surprised that none of them really knew very much about it at all and thought it must be harder to do than the cradle position, which actually, it isn't, after a little practice and some confidence of course.  

One lovely lady asked me how old I was as she thought it was mainly only youngsters that wanted to try out different feeding positions and when I said I was 34, she was actually genuinely shocked and said 'gosh, well you certainly don't look it. I thought you were much younger''. Thank you lady, I will take that and treasure that comment! Another kind lady said I was very brave for coming to talk to them and breastfeeding at the same time which was also lovely to hear and know my time was appreciated. 

After the 'show and tell', the ladies broke for lunch and I joined them in the staff canteen. My HV held Pads while I ate and it was really interesting to hear from the other side as all the health visitors chatted about the ever increasing demands of their role and their frustrations. They said that offering the kind of support I had to seek from Carol the lactation consultant, is why a lot of them got into the job in the first place, however as they are so stretched seeing a wealth of new mums at any one time and also because they all have a disproportionate amount of special cases (mums with serious medical concerns after childbirth such as PND or mums under the watch of social services) assigned to them that sadly have to take priority over really being able to be there for every mum, and these cases come with so much paper work and red tape that they take up the majority of their time meaning they miss out on either spotting or being told about issues like mine and thus being able to help and support non special case mums who deserve help as well. It's a sad state of affairs that those people trained and assigned to help all mums, are actually tied up in other administrative areas and so swamped with special cases that they are unable to do their jobs as effectively as they would like and provide the same level of care and support for all which is what they all want to be able to do.

I was proud to be able to meet with these lovely hard working ladies and give them my point of view and raise more awareness and understanding of biological/laid back feeding within the health profession, so that more new mums may be offered it as an alternative to other positions that may not be working out for them, which could encourage them to keep breastfeeding rather than give up if it isn't working out one way, as is still sadly the case with a lot of cases. 

                                                                     ***

This week has been a really busy one, and a challenging one, and I realised that I am perhaps cramming too much into our weeks as we haven't had a down day just chilling at home without having to be somewhere at a certain time for ages. With the lack of sleep and super fun and stimulating activities we do everyday, it's no wonder we are both exhausted and in my case, on the edge of burning out soon I think, so I have decided to reclaim our 'down day' to just try and stay in bed a little longer, have more cuddles and lazy, relaxed feeds and skin to skin and watch a little crap on the tv. I think it will be good for both of us as we are alway on the go! 

Week 28 - breastfeeding, bumps and beaches

Week 28 

1. Sing and Sign.

We started a new baby class that was recommended to us by lots of other mums, and I was looking for something that involved a bit of music and singing. And we found what we were looking for. 

Sing and sign is great fun! It is just what it says on the tin but the lady that runs it is really engaging and charismatic so Pads was engrossed throughout all the little songs, which of course all have signs that go with them to encourage mum and baby to communicate better. We learnt the signs for 'more' and 'eat' and 'all finished' and 'no' and a few animal ones too. Then Paddington got to play with a tambourine and shaker and had a really fun time bashing his instruments and shaking them when told to (probably just a fluke but it made him look super skilled!) and stopping shaking when commanded too (again I think more of a fluke but I will take it!). We have been trying out some of the signs at home so hoping a few will sink in for both of us and aid our communication. Either way, the class is fun and there are a few other mums there from our other classes too so it's a friendly crowd. Plus he slept for nearly 2 hours after the first class so anything that achieves that result is a winner for me! 

2. Countdown to crawling. 

I really don't think we can be far away from crawling now. The manic rolling is at its peak and the shuffling, pivoting and grabbing his way forwards and backwards is incredible to watch. He puts so much effort into moving around and is desperate to crawl. He has done a few little backwards crawls already - just a couple of pushes, but not very far or for very long and has just started going on all fours and pressing himself up into a sort of bridge position, then rocking back and forth really quickly as if trying to propel himself forward. It takes such intense concentration and effort and often results in a few tears of utter frustration - or a fart. He could not be trying any harder and I think he will get there soon. I believe he can do anything frankly and deserves to succeed just for trying so hard. That's my boy.

3. Sense of humour. 

Our boy loves a laugh and a smile and is displaying a very fun and cheeky sense of humour already. He knows when he has splashed really hard and wet us when he is in the bath by our reactions and thinks this is hilarious. He loves a little game of peek-a-boo, chuckling away at the surprise element. He loves being held upside down or with his belly resting on my head when I am standing and giggles away at this new sensation of height and weightlessness. And when he has dropped something off the high chair onto the floor and I have to keep going to get it, he knows that is funny and gives me a super cheeky grin before he drops whatever it is. 

The other day we went to visit my gorgeous pal Cathy and her mum Rita came into the room and stood by the doorway, quite far away from Pads, and started making raspberry blowing noises at him and funny faces. He thought this was the funniest thing ever and chortled out loud over and again. Then when she wiggled her glasses up and down he was almost thigh slapping, he was so entertained. Ah, the simple things in life! He loves to laugh and finds joy in so many things, it's a real inspiration and a great outlook to have on life. Plus his laugh is simply adorable. It does funny things to my ovaries....(watch out Jon!)

4. Sleeves are the enemy. 

All of a sudden, every time we have to change little man's clothes, he freaks out when it comes to putting his sleeves on. This is a recent development and it makes dressing him really slow and complicated as he makes little fists or spreads out his fingers to make putting any sleeves over his hands really taxing. He also doesn't like things going over his head much either so change time is just a wrestling match accompanied with him crying and wriggling at the moment. Great fun.  

5. Breastfeeding photo shoot. #normalisebreastfeeding 

Pads and I took part in a fab photo shoot this week, all to promote the normalisation of breastfeeding. It's the brainchild of a lovely local photographer, Hannah Merrett, and has the backing of the midwife team who took care of me and my boy and I think it's such a great idea. 

Hannah is basically taking pics of breastfeeding mums at home or out and about just feeding their babies as they would normally do, to create a real life style photo campaign which she kicked off with a Facebook page called The Beauty of Mummy's Milk: Hannah Merrett Photography this week and Pads and I had a starring role as the first mummy and baby duo featured! (please like and share to help us gain more exposure - pardon the pun!) #normalisebreastfeeding 

She is also going to put up some of the photographs as posters in local cafes, hospitals and gp surgeries, and hopefully, if further funding is received, to reach out further across Wales perhaps, to normalise breastfeeding. 

It will also show people how different breastfeeding is for every mother and baby and that it isn't just about one position, the cradle, which is all most people are ever shown or aware of - I know I wasn't aware of other positions at the start, so hopefully it will also give people the option to try another position if one isn't working for them, and to let them know that there are lots of different ways to feed your baby. This is such a worthwhile cause and the more people that see breastfeeding as a normal, natural, everyday thing, the more likely they are to try it, keep at it, accept it, support it and encourage it, and importantly for this country, the more likely the stigma that still shockingly surrounds breastfeeding, will be removed.  

The rates for breastfeeding in Wales are awful, we have one of the lowest rates in the world - only 46% of women even try breastfeeding and this drops by half within the first 6 weeks, largely because of lack of support, lack of easily accessable information and guidance because of a stretched Nhs, and lack of peer encouragement.  (If your mum/Aunty/sister/friends didn't breastfeed and you have no breastfeeding groups to turn to, then who do you go to for help and advice?) In rural Wales and the valleys the figures are even lower - and something needs to be done about that. The message that breast milk is the perfect 'first food' for babies perhaps still isn't getting heard loud enough or more than likely, it is being heard but mums aren't getting the support and help they need to really give it their best shot and stick with it when it inevitably gets hard or when problems arise and are spotted or sorted out.  

'Breast is best' is a well known phrase and I think people are starting to understand why but they need support to do what is often perceived as a really natural, easy thing (I thought it would be easy to pick up as its instinct and Mother Nature right?! How wrong I was!).  There are SOOOO many reasons that breastfeeding support needs to be given greater priority of importance by health professionals and more funding by the government, as not only is breast milk free, convenient, portable and always at the correct temperature and always sterile, it also and most importantly, contains all the nutrients a baby needs for 6 whole months! Its a complete whole food. It's incredible stuff! On top of that, it is packed with immune boosting properties and puts both mum and baby at a significantly lower risk of diabetes, breast and ovarian cancer, a host of infections, bugs and more - it literally saves lives and saves money (for mums because it's free food for your baby and for the Nhs because it keeps mum and baby healthier so less doctors and hospital visits all round). 

There was an article out this week about the most recent findings by The Lancet, a U.K medical journal, that if every mum who could breastfeed  did, it would save around 800,000 children's lives (from various diseases and infections) and 20,000 mum's lives (from breast cancer) so anything that can be done to support, help and encourage breastfeeding mums and remove any unnecessary barriers, such as the stigma that is still shamefully attached to breastfeeding, should be applauded. "Powerful political commitment and financial investment is needed to protect, promote and support breastfeeding at all levels: family, community, workplace and government" (The Lancet). 

**Of course, not every mum can breastfeed successfully and not every mum wants to breastfeed either, and I by no means judge any mum for how they feed their baby and do not ever want any mum to feel bad about not choosing to breastfeed or having to stop breastfeeding as there are so many circumstances that make it so hard to do or to continue to do. I am just passionate about breastfeeding personally and passionate about ensuring mums have all the information and support they can possibly have about it to make an informed choice about how to feed their baby in the first instance and then ongoing support to keep breastfeeding if that is the path they chose.

I really enjoyed taking part in the shoot and Pads was a little star just happily feeding away and giving some lovely smilies to camera when he was finished too! We did a variety of shots doing biological feeding in the rocking chair and armchair and then doing lying down feeding in bed, and I was totally happy to have my boob out feeding my son while Hannah snapped away, because it's just normal to us. Breastfeeding is just that. Just feeding, using a breast. The photos are beautiful and something we will treasure forever as a reminder of such a special time between me and my boy.  I am proud to be involved in this campaign, and hope it gets the further funding it needs to roll out across Wales.

6. Adventures in weaning part 2. 

Paddington's culinary introduction continues and this week has seen a huge leap in the way he eats and anticipates food already. He gets really excited when I put his bib on and when he sees the orange bowl and opens out his arms as if to say 'give me whatever you've got in there now!'. I think he is enjoying food and exploring new tastes and textures and we have had some serious winners this week. Here's the tasting menu so far: 

Parsnip. He ate the whole bowl! He loved it and kept wanting more, reaching out for the spoon and looking really happy when I gave him another bit. He was sucking it off the spoon and swallowing with some vigour. I have been a bit disorganised on the baby led part of the weaning this week and didn't cook up whole parsnips to go with the purée, but am not sure he cares, so we will get back on the baby led now we have done our little intro to flavours fortnight.

Carrot. He grinned and laughed out loud while eating this and ate the whole bowl again. Loved it. He really delighted in smearing carrot streaks across the high chair tray and just looked like he was having so much fun. 

Peas.  New texture sensation - this was quite a chunky, thick purée with bigger lumps in than any of the others he has had so far, and it was so cute to see him pressing bits against the roof of his mouth with his tongue to sort of chew it before swallowing. He really liked it and again, ate almost the whole bowl. I think I may have fed him too quickly though as he was so excited by it, as about 45 minutes later, after he had done some energetic play on his mat, he did some rather large pea-speckled sicks, so I think I need to slow down the pace when feeding and try and make sure he has finished what is in his mouth before giving him more. Not always easy to tell as sometimes he hides a little food stash behind his tongue. Also, I probably need to try and keep him upright and still (ha! Good luck with that!) for longer after a feed, like I would after a breast feed. 

Peas really do get everywhere though. During the feed he was shaking the spoon and bowl  - standard - and bits of pea were literally flying all over the kitchen. I found some on the wall and the skirting as well as all over the mat and of course, all over the floor beyond the mat. It was the worst food clean up yet and seemed to take forever. I am still finding little green flecks now! 

Avocado. Well this was a fun one. We went baby led on this one mainly and he really enjoyed picking up the slices of avocado and sucking on them and trying to chew bits. He loved feeding himself and ate a fair amount considering he doesn't have any teeth! He did bite off a bit more than he could chew a few times and I had to help him spit some large chunks out but then he would try again and suck a little piece off instead. I only offered him the mashed up avo on the spoon a couple of times as wanted him to feed himself more, and he lapped it up each time. A total winner and a total mess! Avo spreads far and wide! 

Pear.  This might have taken the number 1 spot from parsnips or be a close 2nd at least. He couldn't get enough and loved holding the pieces of cooked parsnips I cut up for him as much as, if not, more than the puree. 

Banana. He was really unsure about this one and made some pretty disgusted looking faces.  I also hated bananas when I was little and only started eating them in pregnancy as they are so good for you.  I think Pads my have inherited my initial dislike for this weirdly textured fruit. He seemed to be much sicker in the day following his banana breakfast too, bringing up a LOT of watery sick - around 4 or 5 times after each feed and sometimes over an hour later, and the next day he had some diarrhoea bless him so I am extra wary about the banana as it may have contributed to that. 

7. Cot training continued.

Our 'routine' was a bit broken this week as we stayed at our cottage last weekend where there is no cot so we had to revert back to co-sleeping and the sleep wasn't great again to be honest. Then when we were back to the cot, the first night was not a success and really broken sleep again. And we were doing so well! 

However, the next evening was good again with a 4 hour stretch of sleep and Ewan the dream sheep doing his bit to help soothe Padster back to sleep. All in all sleep is much better at night now we are putting him in the cot as much as possible with an average of 3.5-4 hours straight sleep a night now (such a big improvement I can't tell you!), and around 3-4 wakings instead of double that, as we were doing. 

Day sleep is good, with us pretty much hitting our 3 hours in a day target everyday this week which is fab. The only way is up right! We are definitely all feeling better for some more sleep finally and I just hope it continues! (Please!)

This weekend we stayed at my aunty's in the Gower for a couple of nights, so again no cot and the bed was really small and dipped in the middle so it wasnt possible to use the sleepyhead in the bed as I had planned as it kept tilting towards the middle and was too close to the edge of the bed so didn't feel very safe either, so I ended up putting it on the floor where he slept for a bit! But because it was a new environment he didn't sleep well, so we did some co-sleeping again with him resting on me tummy down, just to get a few more zzzzz's. 

I decided to buy a travel cot to make it easier (hopefully!) to sleep in new and different places with the little bear, and Asda have a good baby sale on at the moment so we got one for just over £20, plus we picked up a spare cot in a gorgeous navy blue for the cottage, which will then be a spare cot for the grandparents once we move, for under £40. Bargains. Hope he likes them!

8. Bumps versus bumpers. 

Now he is back sleeping in his cot mostly, we have a problem and it goes bump in the night. 

Whenever he wakes up, he wants to move about as his first instinct, but in the cot this inevitably means he will roll to one side and end up bumping his head on the side bars bless him. This happens a couple of times a night love him and usually makes him cry - not a lot but enough to properly wake him and make settling him via Ewan or soothing in the cot virtually impossible. 

Now, I know that cot bumpers are deemed unsafe and we are told not to use them because of the dangers of suffocation (we do own some lovely ones that were given to us as a gift and I used them as decoration in the cot at the opposite end to where he was, up until he started moving around basically and have since removed them) but can a bump on his head several times a night be any good for him either and is there anything I can do to help him? He pretty much has a little red mark on his head most mornings now where he has bashed his bonce on the bars and I feel so sorry for him. 

He is inevitably going to move about and roll, and the bars are hard so it doesn't take a genius to do the maths and see why it keeps happening. Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do about it? I was recommended some small bumpers to just go over a few bars where he regularly bumps his head by a pal, but he has started to regularly bump it in a few different places now as well as start sticking his arm through the bars to reach out so am concerned he is going to get himself stuck soon. I was also told about air wraps, which are breathable mesh like cot bumpers that won't cause suffocation and are ideal for stopping limbs being poked out of cots and getting caught apparently so am thinking of trying those out, but have also been told they can encourage the little ones to try and use them to climb out of the cot too.  Its a mine field!  Will report back! 

9. First beach trip! 

This weekend just gone we went to visit family in the Gower and Pads saw the sea for the first time! He loved it. It was very windy and fresh out but he chattered away to me the whole way along the Langland to Caswell bay path, excitedly shouting at things we passed such as surfers running down the beach into the sea, trees with the leaves blowing wildly, flocks of seagulls overhead and the waves crashing on the ocean. He had gorgeous red ruddy cheeks and an expression of wonder and joy. I think my boy may be an ocean babe which is excellent news as Jon and I are massive fans of the sea.