Week 20
This week was basically cancelled due to my rubbish throat and immune system - no Daisy Foundation class, no Baby Sensory, no swimming and no breastfeeding group. I am sorry Paddington.
While it's been a pretty dull one in terms of activity and play, it has also been quite lovely to strip our time back to the basics and just enjoy lots of in bed snuggles, side lying feeding throughout the day, day time cat naps together, skin on skin contact and shared baths. Although being ill with a baby is not easy, and there were times when I really wished I could go back to those indulgent and selfish pre mummy days when I could just stay in bed sleeping or watching Netflix all day to get over tonsillitis, I will say that Padster's gorgeous smiles and chuckles and just having him to look after as well as myself, have kept my spirits up and given me more to focus on than just feeling like shit (and thus feeling sorry for myself), so thank you Paddington. You really are the best.
Here's week 20.
1. His first doctor's appt.
As I have the lurgy and Pads has been sleeping so badly, as well as being generally crankier and more fractious than his usual self, I took him to get checked out at the doctors too, just to be on the safe side. He was as good as gold during his check up (apart from having just done a stinky poo seconds before we were called in so that smelt really good!). He was just interested in what the doctor was doing and looking around his new surroundings. He had the full-on stethoscope treatment front and back, his temperature taken, his ears inspected and mouth checked for tonsillitis. Thankfully, he got the all-clear on everything so it probably is just 4 month sleep regression, teething and a massive developmental leap causing all the fussiness and wakefulness. Good to know he is fit and well, at least one of us is!
2. Milky Way.
I got given a course of penicillin and told to take paracetamol as well and I am pretty sure that they have been affecting my milk. They say only a trace will go into the breast milk and they are fine to take when breast feeding but he has been a bit crankier - if that's possible! - since, definitely windier and finding it harder to burp, less satisfied and often grizzly after a feed and has been sick more than usual, so it seems too much of a coincidence. Luckily it was only a 6 day antibiotics course and it seems to have cleared away my infection (stay away forever please!) so am sorry for any cause I had in your milk being a bit off little guy.
3. Language and play.
We were invited to a free local playgroup at the end of last week that I didn't get chance to write about on last week's post, run at the Acorn Centre where we had our brilliant Baby Acorns group a while back, and it was great to see the lovely Sue again, who runs this group as well. Pads was the only baby there, the other 2 were toddlers running around very energetically, so I did wonder if Pads would get much out of the group at first.
We started with some play time for me and Pads in their baby area and he absolutely loved the new toys around him, especially some mirrored jigsaw pieces and a rainmaker that fascinated him. The older kids did some music time, banging drums and throwing bells etc... whilst we had a breastfeed and I was so tired by the lack of sleep the night before that the noise was almost unbearable so I thought about just leaving then. But am glad we stayed, as they next laid out a giant colourful parachute, which was very attractive to Pads and made him voluntarily want to go on his tummy on it to look at the colours, and then they brought out the bubbles. He is a big fan of Bubbles it seems!!! He properly followed them with his eyes as they floated by him and kept trying to grab at them. It was so good to see him so responsive and intrigued by what was happening around him. He also found watching the toddlers stomping about and having tantrums very fascinating and I saw a glimpse into our future! That's a whole new kettle of fish when they can run and snatch toys isn't it?!!! It is brilliant that they run groups like this for free to help mums get out and about and give them ideas for play and I fully support the work that these ladies and the centre do.
4. Ear defenders rock!
I have found a great way to get the hoovering done, entertain Pads and also be a bit of a workout for me. Wearing the boy in the carrier whilst vacuuming! You can work up quite a sweat actually. As its so loud - the day they invent a quiet vacuum, I am first in line - I was worried about his little ears, so popped his brand new ear defenders on and he seemed totally chilled and happy in them. I got a job done easily and it resulted in sleep - for him at least!!! I took him out of the carrier and popped him on his play mat while I put everything away and by the time I came back he was fast asleep, love him, for a good hour. So that's our secret to sleep then is it? Get the Hoover out!
5. Our boy does have a routine!
When it comes to bowel movements at least. For the past 2 weeks, he waits until daddy has left for work and he's had his early morning feed, then does a massive poo just for me to clean up! It's been pretty much like clockwork for the past fortnight so I know we will have a poopy nappy between 6-9am everyday. We have also gone up to size 3 nappies now as we ran out of 2's and he will be in the 3's for longer as they bridge a wider weight gap, so makes sense. I also think they fit better and do a better job of holding things in, as we had started to have a few little pooey leakages again with the number 2's.
6. The night I tried to get some sleep.
I basically reached boiling point with not getting any proper sleep last weekend and started to feel unwell, so we decided I would go into the spare room to try and sleep for a few hours while Jon did a night shift with Pads. It didn't really go to plan.
After a feed, snuggle and Pads falling asleep, I crept out to a lovely big, spacious bed and started to settle down to sleep when he started crying very loudly and wouldn't stop. (Pads this is, not Jon!) So Jon came and got me. Only 8 minutes had passed and I hadn't had that sleep yet. So I settled Pads back down and into his cot, waited for a few minutes then toddled off to that big, comfy bed again with all my fingers crossed. I started to drift off again, when the crying began even louder and more upset than before. I lay there for a minute or 2 willing it to stop and for Jon to sort it out, but it wasn't stopping and only getting worse, and I couldn't lay there listening to my son crying, so back in to the room I came and settled him again.
Jon felt dejected and in his words, 'useless' at this point as Pads didn't want to settle with him, and settled almost immediately with me. I guess it's because he is used to me and Jon doesn't do the night shifts so Pads wasn't used to him. I got him down in his cot again and this time, stayed in the room to see what would happen, lamenting the sleep I never got.
5 minutes passed and he was awake and screaming again. This was awful!! I got up again to settle him and just burst into tears. I was exhausted and feeling crappy with a sore throat and swollen glands and I just needed some sleep but neither my son or my hubby could give me any. Jon tried to take over the comforting of Pads while I cried it out, and then I just admitted defeat and settled down for a lying down feed with Paddington. He fell asleep promptly afterwards and I just stayed with him, not daring to try and move him to his cot again or move myself in case he awoke again.
I finally got a blissful 1.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the spare room where I could fully stretch out and bundle up the duvet without worrying about a little person, such a treat!, at 4.30am when I was certain that Pads was fully asleep and he had had a couple of night feeds to keep him going. I was in a full on dream state when I heard him crying again, and dutifully returned to my post by Padster's side. But that brief sleep was beautiful while it lasted. And I will treasure it forever.
The next day, I had tonsillitis. My old nemesis there you are, snuffling around when I am at my most tired and run down (me and tonsillitis go way back. I don't even have any tonsils anymore as I used to get it several times a year for a couple of weeks straight, so they were taken out in my early '20's, but I still get it. How is that for unfair?!).
Tonsillitis with a baby doesn't mix, as the only thing that really makes you feel better is sleep. And the only thing not guaranteed, or rather that I am guaranteed not to get with this particular baby, is sleep. The cruel irony of it all.
I would like to announce however that on the Monday eve my little monster gave us 4 hours 20 mins of uninterrupted lovely sleep. When I needed it most. He is a star.
And just to prove that every day changes, the next night we had one of the top 3 worst nights in his history. I saw every hour until 5.30am when he finally decided to sleep for 2.5 hours. I gently sobbed my way through most of that evening wondering why something as natural as sleep was causing so much grief.
The rest of the week followed this fairly-promising-return-to-good-sleep pattern one night (maximum 4 and a half hours sleep in any of these 'good' nights mind, and there were only 2 of them) and then the next day would be back-to-shitty- hourly-wakings-again pattern. We really don't know what else to do to get us all more sleep, nor do we have the energy to try anything new at the moment, so are just trying to cope with it as best we can.
Thanks for all the solidarity and advice on sleep by the way peeps - it is good to know it's not just us!
7. Sleep regression is a good thing. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, I know 'she's gone doolally through sleep deprivation so has convinced herself of this ridiculous statement to get through it', well maybe, but hear me out. A friend sent me a link to The Sleep Lady's blog and I read the best piece of advice on this whole sleep thievery business that has made me see it in a more positive light (well, during daylight hours anyway, I am less convinced in the middle of the night).
He is growing both physically, mentally and absolutely in terms of his development and this has all happened over the past few weeks, coincidentally around the same time that sleep went out of the window. He suddenly wanted to try rolling all the time, explore everything with his hands and mouth, engage with the world, is especially drawn to light sources (lamps, screens, phones, windows etc...) and has become really very vocal, practicing new sounds and 'chat' almost daily. At the same time he also became fussier, started waking throughout the night, napping less and crying more. And according to The Wonder Weeks book and app he has just been through his biggest 'leap' yet. The new things he has been learning have absolutely been causing him to want to be awake more to practice and also to be unable to sleep as well as before, or for as long, while his brain processes the huge leaps he is making in his growth and development.
The Sleep Lady's simple advice was to just do what you need to do to get through and remember that sleep regression is temporary, and crucially that you won't create any long term bad habits during the first 6 months anyway. Phew! And I believe she is right and am so happy to hear someone say all of those words, as this is a really tough parenting, and babying stage for us right now.
This week in particular because I haven't been feeling well, to get by, Pads and I have totally been co-sleeping in the day for naps and at night and sodding the cot for now, so I could feed him more easily and respond to him quicker, and it worked for us. We got a bit more sleep than we would've done I believe and I wasn't completely exhausted in trying to get him to sleep in his cot when he was happily sleeping in the bed, nor having middle-of-the-night meltdowns getting him back to sleep. I simply rolled over and fed and soothed him back to sleep, then went back to sleep myself.
I was worrying that I was 'making a rod for my own back', and maybe he has gotten a bit used to feeding to sleep and sleeping with us this week, but I was simply getting us through this week as best as I could and it needed to be done. And he is only 4.5 months old, so he is still young and sleep training will come. We have been winging it pretty well so far, doing whatever needs to be done to get by and we are doing ok, so we will carry on muddling along a while longer.
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