Week 25
1. Sleep. Oh how I miss thee!
Sleep goals: again, just anything at all at night please and still trying for around 3 hours in the day.
Sleep reality: day time naps are going pretty good with a consistent 2-2.5 hours on average a day and there is a sort of pattern emerging, with him liking a cat nap around 2 hours after he has woken up for the day, of around half an hour to 45 minutes usually and then around lunchtime he tends to go for a longer hour or so nap and then makes the rest up with little bursts of naps throughout the rest of the day. So not too shabby. His favourite places to nap are in the car, the buggy or on me. I tried to get him to fall asleep for a daytime nap in his cot but after an hour of trying, we gave up as it just wasn't happening and he was starting to cry by this point, but he was quite happy in there for most of that time so that's something.
Sleeping through the night though? That's the same old story, but for 3 nights in a row he didn't sleep longer than 1.5 hour amidst doing really bitty bursts of 20-45 minutes then waking up, so unfortunately and confusingly he has gotten worse this week. And he is refusing to sleep in his cot now as well, waking up almost as soon as he is put down or as soon as he has gone to sleep in it and not being soothed by any means that have worked before, so we have mainly been exclusively co-sleeping every night to at least allow us to rest, if not to sleep any better.
I don't mind saying that I am absolutely exhausted. My arms are stiff from being tense and rigidly curved in a c around him in the bed to keep him safe, and my eyes feel hot and itchy from lack of proper rest. I feel very fuggy in the head too, and find myself staring a lot and keep forgetting things. I could really do with some sleep basically as my batteries are running pretty low. I'm not sure I can keep going at this pace, and have to keep reminding myself that 'this too will pass'. I hope. Though it doesn't seem to be showing any signs of returning to those glory days of 4-6 hours of regular blocks of sleep at night. We didn't know how lucky we were only a few months ago!
**However, on Friday night, it's as if he read the above and took pity on me and slept for 4.5 hours straight at the cottage! The bed is bigger and perhaps because it's a newer environment it tires him out more in the day, plus we did a 2.5 hour walk in the bracing cold around our village and along the canal so I am guessing that volume of fresh air and outside stimulation helped too.
2. Night feeder.
One cool thing about this week's disturbed sleep routine however, has been to do with breastfeeding. We feed lying down in bed throughout the night for comfort and ease, and because it at least lets us both rest.
As I have been so tired, after he has finished his feed and come off the nip and dropped off to sleep, I haven't bothered to put my boob away and have just fallen asleep au natural shall we say, next to him. I have twice now woken up an hour and a half or so later with him back on the boob feeding, which is quite a beautiful thing as he has found his way back there in the dark and latched on perfectly all my himself. It made me feel very earth mother-esque in a way. I am sure there will be many tutters out there saying that it's me being so close to him at night that is keeping him awake and wanting to feed more, and maybe there is something in that, but it feels so natural and good to be there for him and so wonderful that he can find me in the dark when he wants or needs me, that surely is as nature intended us to be in the first place?
Whilst we are on the subject of breastfeeding I must give a huge high five to my uni pal Lindsey, who made an incredibly impassioned, eloquent and knowledgeable speech all about the merits of breastfeeding and the importance of her local drop in breastfeeding support centres at a regional council meeting to try and secure the continuation of its funding and stop them from having to close. Her words were so powerful, honest and from the heart/breast that she received a standing ovation from the councillors and has garnered amazing publicity for the cause in the press and media.
I absolutely take my hat off to you Linds as your speech was spot on. Breastfeeding is amazing for both mother and baby but we need support to breastfeed and local councils and the government at large need to start to realise just how important it is to keep this country breastfeeding and to offer support to mums who want to. The Nhs is stretched beyond its means as it is and midwives and health visitors just don't have the time to give to breastfeeding mums who need help and support, so we need support centres and volunteer groups across the UK to offer the vital breast feeding information, guidance and support that is missing in our current health system. And we need more support centres than we currently have, so we absolutely don't need the ones that are running and proven successful to face closure. Read all about Linds amazing speech here -
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2016/01/08/mum-speech-to-save-breastfeeding-support-service-hampshire_n_8937912.html
It is quite simply brilliantly said.
3. Night rider
Travelling in the car, in the dark with Paddington is becoming quite the challenge. He does not like the dark. And especially not in a car.
We have a little hedgehog night light which we always put on for him in the back which used to placate him but now it seems that his dislike of night time driving is worse than ever. He screams the car down and gets really worked up with tears flowing and a bright red face, so for the last few evening car journeys I have had to sit in the back with him for a really stressful journey of trying everything to stop him crying - singing, making up stories or rhymes, rattles, head stroking, offering him my finger/hand/arm to chew - nothing works for longer than a few minutes and he is off screaming again. I also start feeling sick pretty fast in the back seat of the car so am basically trying to avoid being in the car with him when it is dark as much as possible. This is proving tricky in the Winter when the light goes around 4.30pm so bring on the Summer I say!
4. Reflux?!
He is definitely being sick much more frequently than ever before and it seems to have gotten worse over the recent Xmas and new year fortnight. I put it down to me over-indulging in cheese, chocolate, hot chocolate with cream, brandy sauce, and rich food in general, (I basically became a cow's milk and dairy junkie it seems) but it's still happening and I am not eating the same amounts of these foods now. He is being sick at least twice after most feeds now and it's a mix of the really watery, get everything wet sort of sick and the smellier, gooier cottage cheese sick that feels really warm when it lands on your arm. It doesn't seem to bother him at all and he isn't showing any signs of pain when being sick, just frustration perhaps and clearly not loving the taste in his mouth of brought up milk.
I am wondering if it is the dairy, and especially cow's milk, as a I really have eaten a lot of it lately so I am cutting out dairy again for a couple of weeks to see if that helps. It's back to almond milk for a while.
He has also started gargling with the sick almost every time too as if he really doesn't want to lose the milk, so often after a feed he will be sick a couple of times in a row now and sometimes even up to an hour after feeding, but I actually think it's probably the same sick that he keeps gargling and swallowing and not letting it come out properly the first time. I still sit him upright and burp him as I have always done but it doesn't seem to make any difference at all. He is still sick, the same as if I had just laid him down straight away after a feed. I am having to change his clothes a lot at the moment as he keeps soaking himself with this new watery vom and I really hope it doesn't start affecting his weight gain as I can't see how he is keeping much food in him.
Another reason for the increased vomming I think, is that he just wants to be moving and on the go all the time now so even though I try and keep him upright after a feed for a good 15-20 minutes, he wriggles around and twists and arches his back to look at things and basically tries to escape on to his tummy or start rolling, so he is jiggling all that lovely milk around more than ever.
I am hoping this is just a phase linked with his increased movement and maybe me cutting out dairy will help as we are just going through clothes and muslins like there's no tomorrow and my boy is not normally a sick baby. He seems healthy and happy otherwise though so I really don't think he is unwell. He just needs to slow down and stop moving about so vigorously immediately after a feed - which is never going to happen! I have heard other mums talk of reflux so I am wondering if it is that, but I really thought they got less sick as they got older, not more. We have a weigh in next week so I will talk to the health visitor about it to be on the safe side.
5. Chew-bacca.
He adores his feet. It has gone from being an occasional experiment of movement to put his feet in his mouth to him literally ramming half a foot, sometimes trying to get both in, his mouth at any opportunity. He is fascinated by them and really pleased with himself for being able to chew them. He literally folds himself completely in half, no exaggeration, when lying on his back, to get maximum foot coverage in the mouth and it's pretty impressive. I wish I was still that flexible! He even tried to do it in the swimming pool during our lesson this week when I laid him on his back in the water. The boy has a foot fetish for sure.
6. Swim firsts.
Jon has not been able to see Pads swim so far as he works when we have our class, so we went for our first family swim at a nice, tiny pool near our cottage. It was the first time that I had taken him swimming without a class or teacher too so was a big day out for all. And I am very pleased to report that it went swimmingly (ahem!).
Pads is a natural born water baby, he just loves it. He splashed wildly about even though the pool was a couple of degrees colder than what he is used to, despite us calling ahead to check the temperature first - they said it was 29-30 degrees, more like 26 we reckon!
He giggled away as we practiced swimming and then I did our first proper solo under water swim and he kicked his legs brilliantly under the water and came up smiling and squealing with joy which was also a first! It could not have been a better show for his daddy and Jon just loved seeing his boy so happy and having fun in the water. Those swim classes may be bloody expensive but they are so worth it to have given him, and me, the confidence and skills in the water.
Our first Water Babies class back after the Xmas break, we did releases, where we let go of our precious babies for a second or two while they were under the water to get them used to the feeling and build their confidence that they can do it on their own. It was nerve racking to think about letting him go but it really was for no time at all and he was fine about it.
He once again, loved his swimming lesson and at the end when we sang 'twinkle twinkle' and he lay on his back floating in the water we had the most gorgeous, loving eye contact that nearly made me cry. He was looking at me with an expression that I can only describe as absolute love and almost as if he was saying 'thanks for bringing me to classes and looking after me mum'. It made me feel like a million dollars and son, you are so so welcome. I would do anything for you and love spending time with you.
7. Ticklish.
We have figured out Padster's ticklish bits, the inside of his increasingly chunky thighs and his neck. He loves a good tickle session and gives a good hearty chuckle which is hugely addictive and makes you just want to hear more. I blow on his neck when we cuddle and he thinks it is hilarious, in fact he thinks having raspberries blown on his tum or legs after a nappy change, is absolutely hysterical, and his reaction is pure joy. If I could bottle it, I'd make a fortune.
8. No go
A small word of warning for any mums of small children with buggies in South Wales - never go to Cwmbran and park in the free multi storey car park. Firstly, the spaces are so small you may not even be able to open your car door let along a boot to get a buggy out or a back door to get a baby out (yup, this happened to me - I parked up and couldn't get out of the car as the doors didn't have enough room to open!) and secondly, there are no ramps or lifts for buggies so you have to somehow navigate yourself, a baby and a buggy down the numerous flights of steep stairs (I didn't get as far as having to do this as was stuck in my car, but my friend Carys, who I was meeting, had to struggle with her son Jude in his buggy and get a kind passer-by to help her get the buggy out of the car park!). Absolutely ridiculous in this day and age to be so non parent and child friendly. That coupled with the awful at-a-stand-still one way traffic to just get into the town centre in the first place has put me right off the whole place. So, just don't go to Cwmbran at all if you have a young child with you would be my advice.
9. I love his latch.
Because my boy is growing so fast, right before my very eyes it seems sometimes, I am trying to take in as many of the little details and moments as possible to cherish, as I know they will be gone soon. And something I can't get enough of at the moment, is his latch. It is adorable. I love the way he tilts his head back and latches his mouth wide with such excitement and vigour, and that he knows exactly what to do as he has done it literally hundreds of times before.
He makes the cutest little first suckling sounds as he latches and works to get the milk flowing and then the satisfied gentle swallows and sucks that follow just make me swell with pride that we have been able to enjoy breast feeding and that he has been able to get everything he needs from my breast milk for coming up to 6 months exclusively very soon. I know that this isn't the case for every mum who wants to breastfeed so I do feel very lucky and privileged to have been able to work at it and get to this point in our feeding when it feels so natural and relaxed for both of us.
10. The Daisy foundation Wrigglers.
We started a new baby class this week, which is the follow on class from the Daisy Foundation Tinies class we loved so much last year, for older babies who now like to wriggle and roll - definitely mine! Unfortunately the lovely lady who ran our last class wasn't doing this next level up class yet so we had to join a new class with a new teacher in a new area, my old school stomping ground of Monmouth in fact.
The class was just as fab and the teacher just as lovely which was great and Pads really enjoyed the increased energy and activity that this level offers. We sang lots, moved them around more and got to play with some chiffon scarves which he loves for some sensory time at the end. She also did some listening games to teach babies to focus and concentrate and it was amazing to see them all stop and be mesmerised by her waving bells and rattles about and stopping moving when we sang a song and then said stop. Incredible really how clever and adaptable babies are at this age. I think we are going to get a lot out of this class and it is really nice to be in my old home town and to show Pads around.
11. Preparing to wean
This is the week before we start weaning so I decided to get organised. We were amazingly given 2 high chairs, 1 sturdy IKEA easy to wipe clean number with big tray that he can sit comfortably in now, that is on loan from my pal Gemma, as his starter chair, and we were also given 1 very stylish burgundy wooden designer Stokke Tripp Trapp chair from my mum's very generous and kind boss, Heather, that is meant to be used at the dining table for when he is a little older as it doesn't have the baby set needed for him to sit in now, or a tray, and we don't have a dining table at the moment, so that will be his more grown up chair for when he can sit up on his own completely unaided. Thank you to both ladies for saving us a lot of money and hassle in researching and buying high chairs - they are both fab and he already loves sitting in his Ikea chair and playing.
So, we got the chair(s) and I have been slowly building up a kit of spoons, a bowl, bibs, his first cup and trays and containers for his food whenever there has been a sale on or I've seen a good deal in the supermarkets, so it was time to get a supply of food ready. I decided to use the Ella's Kitchen purple book on weaning as my guide to getting started and take a mixed baby led weaning and purees approach. I thought I'd make a day of it cooking up veg and making purées like a real domestic godmother. With Pads seated in his new high chair watching me and happily playing with a beaker of water I had given him, and with some motivational tunes blaring, I got to peeling and chopping 2 parsnips, 3 carrots, 1 swede and 1 large potato, then slicing 100g green beans, half a head of broccoli and half head of cauliflower. So far so good.
Pads was actually tipping the beaker into his mouth and getting a few drops of water which gave him a slightly confused expression but then he would tip the beaker for some more so he seemed to enjoy the action and the sensation of his first taste of water. He would then bang the beaker on the high chair tray and tip the cup over the edge for me to dutifully pick up, and for him to dutifully drop on the floor again. And again. And again. You get the idea of this fun game.
Next, came the veg boiling, 4 pans on at once and by now Pads had had enough of being in his chair and had become super frustrated with the beaker screeching at it and looking upset, so we had hugs then I switched him to his bouncer, which no longer bounces as I keep forgetting to buy, let alone replace the batteries.
I then thoroughly washed and dried all the containers while the first lot of veg cooked, and by the time I was done the potato was ready to be drained, mashed with a fork and turned into a purée by slowly adding some of the reserved cooking water. It resembled wall paper paste by the time I was done, looking for the consistency of runny honey, and that was the first home made purée to be poured into the awaiting ice tray. I felt like a proper mum at this point and oddly proud of myself for what was essentially just boiling up some veggies. Then it was the fiddly process of washing up the blender and bits and pieces and on to the next cooked veg.
Pads had now had enough of the bouncer this time so we had more hugs and I popped him on his play area so he could stretch and roll around and I dashed back to the kitchen to drain and blend the broccoli into purée. Thus followed a pretty exhausting hour of washing and drying the blender 6 more times (why are they so fiddly to clean?!), inbetween draining and blitzing veg and transferring to containers then covering to cool, whilst going to check on Pads every minute or so. I was dashing around the hot kitchen like I was on a timed cookery show and did wonder why I decided to cook up 7 vegetable purées in one day rather than just do it gradually over a week or something, but it seemed so simple on paper.
Before I got to blitzing the parsnips and swede, my final 2 veggies, Pads lost it and went into a crying fit, basically because he was bored and now hungry, so I downed kitchen tools and sat and had a lovely welcome feed with my boy after which he promptly fell asleep for 2 whole hours on me!!! I needed a rest too so put on a crappy film and we cwtched until he woke up, and I was able to finish off my puréeing frenzy. He now has 70 cubes of different foods (apparently each cube is equivalent to 1 meal so this should keep us going for a little while...!).
I really hope he eats at least some of this, or if not then at the very least enjoys playing with it, as I put a lot of effort into making it for him. Bring on the next adventure!
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