Week 15 - Happy Halloween!

Week 15

It feels a bit like we have taken 2 steps forward in a lot of areas this week, mainly in Pads physical and mental development, and he definitely looks bigger all round, but consequentially, we've taken 2 steps back when it comes to his sleep. Not fun. My eyes are lightly burning as I type this through tiredness and I am pretty sure that Pads has little bags under his eyes (and I definitely do!). Just when you think you know what's going on, the clocks go back and all that lovely sleep you were getting, goes out the window! This is week 15 and what it threw at us. 

1. Making new mum friends. 

I now have a network of new mums locally which I made through the flying start baby acorns programme, which is great. My lovely NCT ladies are fabulous, but they are all well over an hour away from us unfortunately, as we had to attend the Cardiff classes because our local one didn't run due to lack of attendees, so I can't often make it to meet ups as I don't always have the car (one car family sharing!) and sometimes it is just too far to go if Pads is a bit grizzly or we haven't had much sleep! I have had to sadly miss out on a few afternoon meets now because of the above so it's good to have some mum friends right on my doorstep as well - well not quite, but only a lane and a couple of roads away at least! We met up for a walk for our inaugural meeting but the weather was so foul we ended up cosily camped out in a cafe drinking tea and swapping baby stories and advice instead, which was just the ticket, so thanks ladies and looking forward to another catch up soon.  You too NCT ladies and partners - I miss you!

2. Happy Halloween! 

Pads got to dress up 2 days in a row as both of our baby groups were doing Halloween specials. He was of course Jack the Pumpkin King, in a super cute and cuddly fleece pumpkin romper with a hood, and I have to say, he looked his most adorable yet. Fancy dress on babies is just so right. 

Our baby sensory class was pumpkin themed too so Paddington was seriously dressed the part, and it was a fantastic class this week. (Maybe because it appealed to the Halloween lover in me!). We missed the opening song again as Pads was this time asleep and he woke up terrified by the noise bless him, so we had some cwtches to calm him down (the music is quite terrifying to be honest. I wouldn't want to wake up to it). 

The activities began with us showing big cards with different coloured images on them to our babies to see which ones they preferred - Pads was a fan of the red leaves and the yellow lemon tree, not the firey dots and bluey green plasma that apparently 80% of babies prefer. Striking out with his individuality already good boy. 

Then there were flashing light-up maracas to play with in the dark (a real hit with my boy so they have gone to the top of his Xmas list), a colourful wall and ceiling light show and a 'glowing' tissue paper bonfire to really get the senses going, as well as a cool basket of autumnal smells including a parsnip, baby pumpkin (munchkin?!), dried orange and lemon slices and a whole dried lime for him to sniff and feel. The smell basket was a fab idea and his little face was full of expression at the different aromas - the dried lime was his least fav as it smelt so bitter but the dried citrus fruits and parsnip were winners. 

He loved lying on a faux fur rug and having brightly coloured chiffon scarves draped over him and dangled in front of him in the play time break, but he was a bit tired out by this point so we stopped for a gentle feed to recharge his batteries and came back for part 2 of the activities, which culminated in a very cool pumpkin patch with giant inflated pumpkins and green rope lights strewn across the floor, orange balloons being dropped from above and a bubble machine pumping out tiny light reflecting bubbles which had Pads in a complete wonder, especially when they popped right in front of his nose! It was a real treat for the senses, even for me, so I think Pads was completely excited and stimulated by the whole experience. It was a really fun class. Maybe it was because the group was smaller this week because of half term so everyone seemed friendlier, and perhaps because the theme was so appealing and the activities really interested Pads, I left feeling very impressed and like I had learnt more about what my baby likes and responds to and why.

3. 1 year ago today...Trick or treat? 

Halloween is very special to us as it was on Halloween last year that we found out we were pregnant. Whilst watching 'Death becomes her'. As you do. I had been complaining to Jon of having a weird metallic taste in my mouth twice that week and had been drinking a lot more water than I usually do yet still feeling really thirsty. Jon had his suspicions as we were trying to get preggers, so he bought two pregnancy kits. I thought there was no way I was pregnant yet, and was convinced I'd just know if I was anyway, but there was no harm in doing the tests so that night, halfway through the movie, I needed a wee, so took the stick in with me and expected nothing of it. 

A minute or so passed with a few nervous feelings as we waited for the stick to show up the result, then I went back into the bathroom to check on it and it clearly said 'pregnant'. No mincing of its words there. I was a bit stunned actually, though we were trying, as I had expected it to take up to a year or more and we were only a couple of months in to actually trying properly. I quietly and seriously called Jon's name upon seeing that 8 letter word and came back to the bedroom holding the stick. All at once I felt elated, nervous, scared, overwhelmed, excited and shocked (still do!). Jon's face just lit up with a huge grin and after several long hugs and both of us double checking that it did indeed definitely say 'pregnant', we sat down to excitedly chatter about what it might be like to be parents and who was growing inside me. The next morning I did the other test just to make sure I was still pregnant, and yup, I was. 

Little did we know then how much our gorgeous Paddington would change our lives for the better or what an absolutely beautiful and characterful boy he would be from the off. Best thing we ever did was have you buddy. Definitely a treat to receive on Halloween 2014 (not a trick!) 

4. Play hard. 

On Monday we had a real play day and it was incredibly bonding - not that we need to bond, we are a tight little mum and son unit already, but I felt even closer and more in sync with my little man afterwards.  We play everyday without fail, even if it's just for a short while, but this was a big whole day of play and he loved all the attention and variety. 

After our morning Tinies class, where we did baby yoga and tummy time, we then came home to baby gym play time - some on his own then some with me when he started grizzling. Then we did tummy time play on a cushion and explored rolling - he prefers rolling onto the right side it seems, so I was encouraging him to also roll on to his left.  He kept rolling out of tummy time on to his back, not staying on his belly for more than 20-30 seconds at a time so we kept that activity short. 

We played with 2 teething rings and my teething necklace, grabbing, holding, bringing to his mouth and having a chew, and then did funny noises and faces which produced his fantastic chuckle again- pure gold. 

Next up, was some mirror time where I carried him over to the long hall mirror so he could look at himself and smile and coo and I tried out a bit of peek-a-boo to his mirror image which was met with more of a serious 'what are you doing' face than the glee I had hoped for. Then we moved the mirror play on to the bed with some side lying time with his fav mirror book that also makes crinkly noises so he loves to grab at the pages. 

Some 'aeroplane' fun followed and his current fav game is for me to lift him up over my head and let him push his feet against my collarbone whilst he looks down at my face, I pull funny faces back up at him and he giggles like a loon. Huge fun to be taller than mummy (it won't be long until he actually is at this rate!). A little row row row your boat with actions, facing me on my lap, got another excellent reaction from Pads. He totally loves this tune. (He had a real Paddy in the car this week and when I started singing this song, he calmed right down. Then when I stopped, he started up again so I tried the song again to see if it was just a fluke, but nope, it worked again! He liked it even better when the next time I sang it, Jon joined in so we were singing it in the round. It's very satisfying - try it.)

We finished off with some stretching and foot rattle play, which got some fab high kicking reactions from him and he kept lifting both feet in the air, having a good look at them and then rolling onto his right side then onto his back again, over and over. A little more tummy time looking at a black and white picture collage I made for him completed our play day. This was all interspersed with some feeds and nappy changes of course but our focus was on play. He was an absolute delight to be around and really responsive and reactive to the activities. That's my boy. I loved this day to bits.

5. Baby first aid. 

We attended a free first aid course run by the terrific St John's Ambulance, and though I hope I never have to use any of the skills I learnt, I am glad that I know what to do if Pads, or any other baby for that matter, should stop breathing or choke. Scary stuff to think about when it comes to your own baby but so important to be prepared and armed with the right information. I got to practice resuscitation techniques on a doll as it's all well and good knowing the theory but putting it into practice is another thing entirely, and I am glad I did as I forgot to open the doll's airways before doing mouth to mouth, meaning that the oxygen wasn't getting through so that's stuck in my head now to hopefully never forget if the time comes to use it. 

Here are the basics of what I learnt about first aid for a baby that has stopped breathing/collapsed: (interestingly babies collapse because they have stopped breathing so they need oxygen straight away, whereas an adult would collapse first then stop breathing after)

• Danger - make sure the area, the baby and you are safe before you proceed. 
• Response - before you do anything, try and get a response from the baby so using their name if you know it, talking to them loudly, making noises that would usually elicit a response - if nothing, then continue as this means they are unconscious, rather than just sleeping. 
• Shout for help - always get back up and someone to help you call 999 
• Airway - if you have assessed that they are not responsive, then the most important first step is to open the baby's airway, as when they are laying on their back, their airway is not open due to their larger head, unlike adults. Placing a rolled up cloth/piece of clothing/tea towel under their shoulders will do the trick.
• Breathing - check for 10 seconds, so listen, look at their chest - is it moving up and down at all, and place your cheek near their mouth to see if you can feel any breath. It may be easier to quickly remove a layer of clothing to help determine breathing as babies are often layered up, but don't be slow about it, just get a layer off quick. 
• If no breath detected, then Dial 999
• While you wait for the rescue services, give 5 rescue breaths covering over the baby's nose and mouth with your mouth, in a child under 1, plus 30 quick compressions. These are done with 2 fingers together in the middle of the chest and should be short and staccato like, and fairly firm.  Then give another 2 rescue breaths and 30 compressions repeatedly until help arrives/they recover or you can't carry on - if the latter, try and get someone else to take over. 

And here are the basics of first aid for a baby who is choking:

• Place the baby upside down with their tummy on your knee and their head facing down. 
• Apply 5 firm thrusts to their back with a pushing motion, check to see if anything has been dislodged, if not then turn them over onto their back, still on your knee and apply 5 firm abdominal thrusts. You can do this for up to 3 cycles only. 
• If they are still choking and nothing has come out then call 999. If you have managed to dislodge whatever was choking them, you still need to get them checked over as the thrusts can bruise so drive them to a and e yourself, don't call an ambulance if they are no longer choking.  

6. The next 'Wonder Weeks' developmental leap - Events. 

Boy, this is a long leap (lasting well over a month oh joy!) and I do think it is affecting his sleeping and feeding and making him much clinger and more demanding in general. He really shouts now when he wants attention and goes to histrionic crying when he is hungry or tired with lightening speed. We have to really be on the ball at the moment and quick to react - which is hard on little sleep!

Here's how this leap is changing him. He is possibly even more active than usual, loving a good leg thrashing at any opportunity whether in his car seat, changing table, baby gym or mat, and he has always loved a good stretch, but now, perhaps because there is so much of him to stretch, it seems that he puts more of his body into it.  When we have been out and about we have had a lot of comments about how alert he is and how interested in the world around him he is.

He is grasping things a lot more and with much better accuracy, and 9 times out of 10, once he has grabbed something he wants to put it in his mouth straight away. If I wave his teething ring or a muslin or pretty much anything in front or to the side of him, he will reach out and grasp it and hold it until it bores him.  He is chewing on the teething ring often now so I do think he has started the teething process poor guy. 

He is reaching for my face when it's near to him too, interested mostly in my mouth, and easily batting and grabbing things on his gym. He has very active spurts on the gym, looking around at all the toys and images hanging down and moving his body about with purpose, and then he will stop for a pause and a moment of stillness as if taking it all in and then start up again until he gets bored and then he lets me know immediately! They say the baby gym is where he practices his hand eye co-ordination and figures out what his hands can do and he is certainly doing that I'd say.

He definitely reacts to his mirror image and will look for me in the room if I have stepped away for a bit. He lets us know when he wants something with shouts and is a very impatient chap these days, whimpering and cry shouting if he doesn't get my boob fast enough usually! 

He seems to be getting to know his name as I have been singing a song to help him recognise it everyday and he loves the song and beams at me when I say his name in it so I think he is getting there. He has definitely grown both physically and mentally a lot this week it seems, with more certain movements and confidence with the sounds he makes. 

When we do nappy changes and after the bath during our massage, I try to give him some naked time as I think it's important for him to get more of a sense of his body and to just be free of clothes, nappies and restrictions for a bit, and get some fresh air on his skin. He certainly responds well to a bit of nudey play so I think we should try and do this more often to help him master physical skills better and just be free. As naked as the day he was born you might say!

7. Intolerance to TV violence.

My tolerance for tv violence has plummeted and I cannot watch babies in distress or danger on the tele anymore. We were watching 'The Walking Dead' and there was a scene where a character threatened a baby and I just couldn't watch. I couldn't look or listen to it, so instead turned to my sleeping boy and watched him until the scene was over and I could watch again. It was such a strong aversion to the content that I have never felt before, and some of the violence in the show that would never have made me even blink an eye before, I found too much, over the top, grotesque and un-necessary. This is a surprising change in my viewing tone. I guess in being a mum you want the world to be a good and safe place for your child and even watching a fictional world gone bad, brought out my protective and no-tolerance-for-this-sort-of-thing side.

8. Kickers. 

Pads wore shoes for the first time - just your casual lace up sneaker boot style - and they made him super curious about his feet. It was so cute to watch him keep lifting his feet in the air, flailing his legs out and even stomping them to the ground in wonder at these things on the end of his legs. You could say they have him a real kick.

9. Is the 4 month regression happening a week early?! (Or bang on time if you factor in that he was 9 days overdue?!!)

Pads has started waking a LOT more for night feeds and not sleeping for as long as he has done, and that I know he can. He is also waking more when I put him down in his cot so we are co-sleeping a lot more again which means that I don't sleep as well as am conscious of his safety and he takes up most of the bed so I am back on the edge, watching both of my boys sleep usually! And he is harder to get to sleep at night, taking longer to settle. I know this sleep regression is happening to a lot of mum friends at the moment so what is going on? The clocks going back may have a lot to answer for! 

For 4 nights in a row, and counting , after going to sleep around 8.30-9pm ish, he has been waking at midnight, then at 1am, 3am,5am and again at 6.30am, wanting feeds and much more comfort than usual each time for at least half an hour, so as you can imagine, we aren't getting a lot of sleep. This harks back to how he was in the first few weeks so seems to be a regression- or could it be teething?! I am just hoping it's not permanent as I am struggling to cope with the sleep deprivation after getting used to our nice blocks of sleep! Am definitely feeling like a 'mombie' this week, to steal a good pun from a friend!  

He has also been much more distracted during feeds, sometimes tilting his head to the side fully - with my nip in his mouth, ouch! - to look at something or respond to sound. Or sometimes barely feeding at all but wanting to be on the nipple for comfort and freaking out when I try and take him off when I know he isn't feeding. 

He has got messier at feeding again too, somewhat sloppier even and am having to once again pay more attention to him during feeds to keep him latched on properly and winded, and to stop him chewing on me or hurting me! And he wants more feeds still! At night he gets so impatient and excited for a feed, he thrashes his legs in anticipation, looking at me with wide, expectant eyes and starts to complain with grumbles or shouts or crying within seconds of me hearing him wake. Give me chance to get you out of the cot and into the side lying position mate! Me clipping my night bra open and actually getting the boob out is almost too much for him to bear and he is usually going crazy by this point as if I have left him waiting for hours starving and unfed while I get ready to feed, when actually it has been more like 20 seconds.

He's also not playing on his own for more than 10 mins anymore and demanding my attention pretty much all of the time again! I haven't been able to express for over a week as I do not have the time with him! And preparing/eating food requires stealth and speed, as the window of distraction for him is so small again. He is fine when I play with him but loses it pretty quick if I try to leave him to it for a bit as I used to. 

Oh those blissful days when he'd be happy and content playing in his gym for 45 mins and I could actually get stuff done/have some time to myself - I miss them!  So whether this is regression or perhaps he is learning new skills and developing fast at the moment so that's put him out of kilter, I do not know, but I am starting to dread his 3rd set of jabs again next week as they could throw him off even further.

10. Malting.

I am losing a serious amount of hair currently, which luckily for me as I have a lion's mane, isn't showing yet, but when I brush it or just after its washed, it is coming out in clumps. great, another after perk of pregnancy.  There's only one solution and that is to get a labrador to blame the blonde hairs that are everywhere on.

11. Scary sounds.

I have just begun to notice over the past 2 days that Pads is getting scared by loud or sudden noises. And I mean really shocked into red faced, limbs bunched up, hands in stiff claws, wailing scared.  He needs instant cuddles and 'there theres' to calm him down and looks really shaken for the next minute.  So far its been the hairdryer -which used to calm in funnily enough, the hoover - same scenario, cars driving past fast when we are on the pavement and just now when I sneezed whilst he was breastfeeding. 

He has only just started doing this and sound has never really bothered him before - only his father's cough, the loo being flushed or keys being thrown down on to a table startled him before.  It is a scary old world out there and I hope its just because he doesn't know what the sounds are and they have all been quite sudden ones, so they startle him, but am going to keep am extra close eye in case its something to do with his ears bless him.

12. A day in the life....How my day unfolds at home. 

As we are feeding every couple of hours again, my day usually goes something like this at home (when we don't have a baby group or catch up with friends to distract us.) Say it's 10am, we sit and feed for maybe 30-40mins, both boobs if possible, then either have a wind or he may have fallen asleep for a cat nap - on me of course, so I have 2 choices: let him sleep on me until he wakes up, which probably means he will get about half an hour and I will get some quiet time, albeit with a sleeping baby attached to me (which is lush so I do often chose this option and stick on an episode of Scandal as my 'rest' time - I know, such a bad mother) or try and put him down to sleep, which I know is the 'recommended' method but usually means that either a.) he will wake up as soon as I put him down no matter how carefully I bend down with him/place and roll etc... Or that b.) he will go down so peacefully looking and give me 3-5 mins of tease sleep where I think "boom! Nailed it! I can go to the loo/get something done"...then he's awake again and bawling. It's now probably around 11.

So I do a stealth nappy change in under a minute in case that's what's bothering him, then try and settle him again and get him to go back to sleep but he is having none of it thanks. A cat nap and a clean nap-nap (yes, I have succumbed to the new mum trait of calling nappies, 'nap-naps'. Don't ask me why or how this happened. It just did.) was all he wanted thanks very much. I still need that wee at this point so I pop him on his baby gym and he delights in all the fun toys, extra bits of muslin hanging down, tissue paper, black and white pics I have lovingly fixed to the arches, time and effort etc...that I have put into making it a varied, stimulating and inspiring space for him, cooing and ahhing and smiling and I think "great, this is great", so off to the loo I go, then I pop the kettle on, do a quick chore with impressive efficiency and speed such as empty the dishwasher/ put a load of washing on/ hang up a load of washing etc...,sterilise the expressing equipment/start assembling the pump for use, and start wondering what I'll do next - maybe finish reading that book I started in late pregnancy, I've got some calls I could make, or should I hoover? - then he decides the gym is now boring/ un-stimulating/over-stimulating/the absolute worse place ever and starts crying. It's now around 11.20 and I never did get round to making a cup of tea.

I try to settle him either by joining in his play or picking him up for cuddles if he's too far gone to the dark side. We then play together for a lovely 20 mins or so until he gets bored/ tired, with both of us smiling, laughing and developing our skills (me as a parent and responding to what skill he wants to work on at that time or what toy/activity amuses him the most at this time, and him, as a tiny human learning how to do everything from scratch!), with me taking a bunch of cute pics/videos of him. It's now around 11.40.

He then yawns/ rubs his eyes/ looks away distracted, so I know he is tired and try to get him to nap with a combo of head strokes, cuddles, rocking, ssshing etc... None of them work as he wants to fight sleep and look around/ practice a new skill he has learnt. It is now around 11.55. 

I pop him back on the gym/ on the mat for tummy time/ sitting up on my lap/ propped up on my knees and play another game or two or just give him lovely smiles and eye contact if that's what he's into at that moment, whilst figuring out my next move - perhaps a walk outside will get him to sleep or maybe I'll pop him in the sling so I can get something done, and then he starts rooting/ stretching his neck and mouth sideways and up in hungry anticipation, sucking his hand/thumb, crying or a combination of all of the above. It's now noon and 2 hours have somehow managed to pass already since his last feed as cruelly you time it from the start of the feed, not the end, meaning you are already doomed when you start (life really is that cruel), and it's time to repeat the whole cycle again until bath and bed time when a whole new set of fun and games begins. This is why a new mum never gets anything done.